Etching Tomorrow's Memories Today...

The sunlight pierces through the foliage of leaves on a tender spring day as you lay idly under the solace of an old oak tree. Amidst the wide range of sunglasses that rest on many a smiling cheek and bright floral spring dresses that accentuate many a feminine figure, you smile as the melody of laughter echoes all around you. A lush gentle breeze rustles the leaves above as you congratulate the higher powers on a job well done for the afternoon. Surrounded by friends from all corners of cultural diversity, you breathe in celebration of love and joy. The day is perfect. Or is it?

Amidst all the multiplicity of cultures and continents, you forget that you stand under the shade of protection of a learning institution. Their purpose is to both educate and nurture. The lessons you learn here aren’t just confined to classrooms and powerpoint slides. They thrust you into a world where you must swim to survive. However, the waters here aren’t as deep as they are in the deep blue seas of circling sharks. Swimming comes with the comfort of life jackets.

Despite all the lessons the cloudy days of yesterday provided, a university assumes the charming ability to usurp you from your glass house into a reality check. The reality check being there is a world around you to live with. The choice lies in determining whether to greet the sunshine and occasional rain of diversity with open arms or with the forlorn tears of many a phone call back home.

There are four seasons in a year, yet some of us dwell on the dreary cold winter nights all year long. For the many that miss their parents or partner or sun and sea or friends or Californian Starbucks or dog or cat or monkey, there is hope. The rays of sparkling hope are embodied by one action, and only one action. Opening the door.

Open the door to meet people, talk to people and embrace humanity. Sitting brooding in a corner will never rid us of the pain of loneliness. Spending eternity behind the shield of books and Facebook or MSN won’t encourage the heart to grow less fond of home. Get out! Open that room door, walk out and just say hi to someone. Don’t judge them for where they’re from, what they do or how they look. Just embrace the fact that you are here for a learning curve. Allow that curve to give you a lifetime's experience. Give yourself a chance, and you can’t do that by brooding. Live a little, dance in the rain, drink till the sun rises, make some friends to last a lifetime and just plain ol give yourself a break.

One day we’ll all look back at our days here and both wear a smile and shed a tear. Digital cameras have made it immensely easy to capture the moments in pixels, but memories will ensure that we take true bonds back home. Friendships that may or may not last the test of time, but nonetheless they will be chapters that shape our future selves. How many chances will we get to make friends from all corners of the globe? How many chances will we get to have an excuse to visit all corners of this wonderful planet? Not many I reckon.

Outside of here, we’ll have to grow up and face reality. The commitments of the real world will burden our shoulders till mortality calls time on us. We’ll have to grow up. Acting like a 5-year-old in snow covered fields will be acts of a past life. We’ll smile when our 5-year-olds come back sneezing from all the snow fighting and you spend the next 10 nights regretting as they cough your sleep away. It’s a whole world away for some of us and a not-so-distant reality for others. Society will expect you to grow up and act your age. Even the sunshine will seek that you spend less time mulling around smiling and be more productive with your existence.

One day we’ll all go our separate ways. It’ll be a tearful end to a glorious chapter. These are the chapters that will linger forever in our hearts as we set about shaping our respective futures. The empty beer glasses will ring hollow. Till that day, we have got today. So embrace it before it’s too late. Regret is tomorrow’s antithesis of living today...

A Pessimist's Antithesis...

Where is the hope in the future if only tears weep today? What is the point of tomorrow if today cannot be lived? Where is the legacy in hiding the adventures to read a book on another man’s adventures? For god’s sake, live a little! Wake up and smell the roses or go bloody skinny dipping in sub-zero weather! But for the sake of your sanity, get out and live!

Everybody walks troubled paths. Everybody has skeletons in their closets. Everybody misses somebody. Everybody has a bloody backache or a splitting headache. But that never stopped the brave from acts of pure idiocy. Yes, it’s true, blondes and idiots or drunken fools have the most fun! There’s no reason to fear the future for if the future fears you, then the world seems a lot more comforting. There’s always a solution for everything or, at least, a breather. Live today like you have always dreamt of living tomorrow. You’ll end up grinning like an idiot.

In a world full of doubters, don’t expect handouts of merciful self-esteem boosts. There will always be sunshine if you only you allow the dark eclipse engulfing your world to be eclipsed. The constant nagging feeling is that you just ain’t good enough to cut the cheese. If the world says you’re a prick, say thank you very much and live the dream. Being a self-absorbed prick is any day better than a depressed home-sick puppy. Don’t look back in anger, but forward in hope.

There will be the days when the sun refuses to come out and the rain just doesn’t stop being dreary. The weather is there to be weathered. Quit thinking that home is a place far away that can only be accessed on an expensive economy-class ticket. Home is where your heart is. Lay your heart down right here right now, for there is the comfort of change even in change. Don’t let your environment dictate your mood; let your mood dictate the environment. If for nothing else, smile more often. At least you give your facial muscles a workout.

Look not for an escape but for the wings of freedom. Except to face the unexpected and accept that the unexpected will always be unexpected. To fly, you don’t need the dosh of Bill Gates or the suave of James Bond. All you need is belief. All you need is faith. Not in the world or the weather forecast or even the Lord almighty. He put you down here so you can face the world not with grim grit but with optimism and hope. Believe in the man in the mirror. Trust his instincts. Embrace his warmth. Confide in him.

Everyday we will fight battles we hardly believe in, think of loved ones but never call them, dream of a vacation and never actually take them, fantasize about that hot brunette by the bar but never approach her or plain ol dream of dancing in the rain but it’s always freezing. Well, it might be time to wake up and actually start crossing off the crap you’ve never done in your life. Or, at least, make a list of crap to do that others might think border on a desperate call for counselling. Yesterday is another day lost to tomorrow, and today is another day wasted regretting yesterday. When is today really today then?

Someone once said, “The pursuit of happiness is the most ridiculous phrase because if you pursue happiness, you’ll never find it!” And that’s it basically. Don’t pursue it or look in dark corners of the world for it. It’s right there in front of you. Confidence is over-rated. Listen to your heart, open your mind and talk to the world. The funny thing about the world is it talks back to you.

Drink alcohol by the barrel. Smoke like a chimney. Act like a complete idiot on your first date and charm your way to another one. Pick up a random card trick. Talk to the next hot stuff that walks past. Greet complete strangers with a hug; at least you’ll have some neat bruises to show for it! Learn a new sport. Pick up a foreign language. Do whatever it takes to bring the magic back. Do whatever it takes to kick-start the magic. But live, for having regrets are bad for your 50-year-old future self. If not for anything else and you end up an old drunk in the local bar, you’ll have stories aplenty to fill the nights of loneliness. Let it not creep in too soon. There’s still half a century to regret yesterday.

Cultural Differences...

In every race, there's a winner and a loser. The wondrous human mind is as fickle as it is fascinating. We'll leave the wondrous bit to the adoring I-need-to-know faithful of the Discovery Channel. Fickle because, despite it's mammoth capabilities, leans only to remember the winners. No matter what a great loser you are, history favours the winners. The losers are chucked into the dark dungeons of failure. But there is a small loyal population who remembers the losers and even sits depressed and forlorn for weeks, the ever faithful, the fans.

Manchester United is everybody's favourites to win the Premier League. The people, who used to cuss at the very mention of Manchester United, embrace them now! Liverpool fans are probably digging out their hockey sticks to have a real go at me right now, but the truth is you would any day take the Red Devils to the rejuvenated Chelsea. Anyone who is a neutral prefers United to Chelsea, solely because many feel that United played the better football. Chelsea have ridden their luck so many times, you suspect Avram Grant sleeps with Lady Luck herself!

There is a stark difference in culture between Chelsea and Manchester United. Despite the fact that Chelsea boast a sea of international superstars, they play a rather laboured style of football. They'd rather play a lone striker to lead the line and flood the midfield to cut short both central and wing attacks. They huff long balls forward to the dramatic yet magnificent Didier Drogba, who is the brilliant player he is due to Chelsea's system of play. You put Drogba in a classic 4-4-2 formation and he won't be as much a threat. Further back they have an excellent defence which is also blessed in depth of squad. Their midfield is workmanlike and operates like clockwork. There is no fuss about these guys. They get the ball and either pump it up or use the ball efficiently. It is a meticulous system that has served them wonderfully over the years and pioneered by the charming Mourinho. This is the Chelsea culture. They have had many a continental manager over the decades and their style varies depending on the man in charge. Their culture is rather cosmopolitan and chameleon-like.

Manchester United is a whole different proposition. They believe that the boring football should be played by the blue half of Manchester. Even when do play a single man up front, the goal-scoring threat is from all fronts. In Ronaldo, they are blessed with a man in the form of his life and who has thus far plummeted close to 40 goals. That too from the wing! In Sir Alex Ferguson, they have a manager who has managed them for more than two decades. Their cosmopolitan culture is derived from the many legends that have graced the luscious greens of the Theatre of Dreams. They have a culture to always attack. They are successful and to a certain degree short ended because of this culture to play swash-buckling football. Sir Alex has always remained loyal to tradition that is Manchester United, to attack.

That is, until now. In a space of a week, he has demonstrated that the many failures after his maiden European title, he has embraced caution. Caution is actually a good thing, because you can get carried away with the euphoria of the chase and end up empty handed. Arsenal are closest example to playing absolutely breath-taking football, yet having nothing to show for their efforts. Maybe playing Barcelona in cauldron that is the Camp Nou is intimidating even to the likes of the lion-hearted Rooney. Maybe playing going for a draw is throwing caution to the wind. Maybe risking a half-fit Rooney in a defensive formation is Fergie's idea of intimidating the opponents. Maybe Ronaldo isn't superhuman after all. Maybe from where Carlos Quieroz comes from, the men wear the skirts! A scoreless stalemate is the worst kind of result to bring back to Old Trafford! Barcelona are the gods of attacking football, and their arsenal is way way prettier, fancier and more lethal than the best on the planet. They may be having an off season, but they aren't going down quietly!

Many amongst the United faithful were aghast at the display and tactics that was put forward by the genius that is Sir Alex Ferguson. Credit where credit is due, the man is the reference text for success and reinvention. But for once, he shrunk at the possibility of grabbing the bull by its horns. Their display was pathetic! Carrick, Park, Rooney and Tevez appeared lost every time they touched the ball! Carrick's distribution, in particular, kept feeding the ball back to the hungry Catalan wolves. Park looked like a small kid lost amongst grown men. Tevez and Rooney, who should not have been risked with his damaged hip, seemed to be stuck in their own half. Ferdinand and Scholes had an absolutely stellar game. Ronaldo was unlucky but ever enterprising.

If that wasn't depressing enough, Saturday happened! In every United fans' hearts, they knew that the kill was there for the taking and what pride they wore their bedevilled colours! When the team sheet came out even dumbfounded were dumbfounded! On the day when United could put lay to rest that they are the best in the land and do it on the very ground Chelsea call home, Sir Alex dug the burrow of caution. Of course, United lost and now Chelsea have gained all the momentum to go on an grab the league title from under United's noses. United were out-played and out-fought by a very efficient and courageous Chelsea team. The fact that Rooney scored was due to an uncharacteristic blunder from Carvallo. Their goal was coming and for all Sir Alex's arguments, it was a clear handball from the idiot that is Michael Carrick! Carrick had a howler of a game against Barcelona, yet his just reward was a place in the starting eleven for probably the biggest game in the Premier League calendar for United. The fantastic Evra, superhuman Ronaldo and growling Tevez were sat out of this monumental game. In all fairness, Darren Fletcher, as much as he is maligned, had a stellar game. There were two fundamentally shocking decisions that must have left even an idiot pondering, what exactly was going on! The first was the fact that Nani actually lasted beyond half-time and the second was United's non-chalant attitude at risking Wayne Rooney. He is now a serious doubt for the Champions League encounter with Barcelona as is the stellar Vidic.

These men will now head into the most crucial phase of the season with their spirit battered. When the time calls for the brave to stand, this team were ready to play everyday if they had to. They were ready to play through pain and with their heart on their sleeves immaterial how bloody the war gets. They were ready to be counted on. They were ready to be crowned champions as John Terry wept his heart out. He now sits smirking, at the change in culture. Arsenal's fate is creeping up Manchester United's shoulder…

Yesterday's Heroes...

As the days age and our years advance, we realise that life is there for the taking. We tend to believe that we’re capable of achieving that raw dream. The freedom of choice is a liberating experience. The choice of having 3 girlfriends or a weekend trip to Bali for a change of environment or even a night out with the lads for a few hundred glasses of beer. These are the days of looking forward. But what of the days that lie at the back? The days when you were part of a system. The system of a family.

We choose to spend time with a whole legion of dim-wit idiots in a bar, but we can’t spend enough time to have a chat with the woman whom we spent nine months in? You are comfortably able to go for yet another meal with a rude wanker with blood only rushing to one head and it ain’t up north either. Yet you have qualms about sitting down for dinner with your folks at home. The eclipse of rationality happens more often than the moon comes out! Your decision making skills are at an all time low if you still subject yourself to the idiot with all the money and none of the intellect. You want intellect, tradition, and culture and still not scour the planet in hot pursuit? Look no further than those photos back when you were a young little rascal. That is history and they are your legacy.

Every man has a backbone to weather many a storm and mine is family. I have always said I’m blessed with great parents. We may not see eye to eye on everything but they are and will remain in the top bracket of my priorities. I’ve always said, I don’t deserve the people around me. For some odd reason though the big man sees it in his own little perspective light.

My parents have always supported me in everything I’ve done from the plain stupid to the extraordinarily insane. They’ve voiced their concerns when they’ve had to, but always stood there to welcome the bruised ego back with open arms. They’ve sacrificed their lives for the sake of their children. People always ask me how is it that I’m not in the least bit a god-fearing man when I’m surrounded, at times, by the extraordinarily religious. My answer has always been simple, as I’ve never really had a reason to chant mantras in an altar in a bid to get god to listen to me or be kind to my soul. See, I don’t need to, because I have god’s avatars in the form of my parents. We may have our spats and disagreements, but my gratitude is eons beyond the failings of my monumental ego. For as long as I’m able, I will do everything I can to make them happy.

I believe there isn’t a season for loyalty. You can’t be loyal and disloyal as and when it suits you. You are either loyal or disloyal, there isn’t a grey area as neither is there switching sides to suit your whims. In my eyes, a man who can’t be there for a parent is hardly a man. You can blame the modern lifestyles we lead as excuses for your shortcomings, but the fact is you have a choice. A choice to do what’s right, not what pressure dictates. When your parents pass, you must not regret then at the magnitude of your folly.

Maybe the view is too skewed, as many have disagreements with their folks that make that impasse of loyalty impossible. There are grey areas and we must accept that not everyone has the same priorities. It is true that it’s impossible for every child to worship their parents like I do. Having said that I strongly believe that you must at least try, to find a solution to keeping the relationship harmonious.

Many amongst us find a reason to be kind to strangers, yet we are snappy or impolite to the very people who spent their lives raising us up. We may argue and fight but at the end of the day, at least with your parents, don’t carry grudges. Leave that ego at the door. Realise that you stand the man you are because they molded that man.

However, there are some parents who are like little kids themselves and make it impossible to be an adult. Maybe then just like any other relationship, it’s best to keep your distance. Lack of communication can be interpreted both ways. A lack of communication is usually seen as a bad thing as it leads to breakdowns in relationships. A lack of communication can also be interpreted as good if in the long run it is beneficial. Beneficial because it creates the space that allows you to carry on without the distractions of conflict.

We’re all intelligent in our own right. We’re all mature in our own right. Sometimes parents can be conventional in their thinking and unreceptive to change. But if ever there is a need for patience, practice it in abundance when dealing with your family. Don’t succumb to the folly of youth and dismiss their advanced years as inexperienced or backward. Always give them the benefit of the doubt. Listen more than you speak.

In a world that is shrinking at a ferocious pace, let’s not lose out our identity. Our parents are family and family should always remain on the forefront of priorities. When your children ask you tomorrow where you came from or who they are, you will regret not having an answer. The key to those questions lie in the grasp of our parents. They are your identity. Civilizations are judged on their history. Ignore that at your peril for you could get lost in history.

The Unfulfilled Promise...

There will come a time when the sun eventually sets on you. During those last few days of mortality, you’d look back at your existence and wonder, if your life amounted to a legacy to be left behind. During those last few hours, the milestones of joy and the despair of regrets with preoccupy your mind. The micros and the macros will be out in equal force as your mind races at speeds from which your ailing body will never recover. This is all assuming that you’ll have the time to reflect at your deathbed. It is always been assumed that we will have normal deaths. But, in a world of many a premature death, what is the certainty?

The one thing that I’ve always been unafraid of is death. It doesn’t bother me that I’ll die one day. The one thing that I’m continuously afraid of is being branded a failure. From the most minute of situations to the grandest of responsibilities, I’ve always been this arrogantly cocky person whose bloody sure I’ll accomplish whatever is set before me. Alas, I’ve yet to come across any accomplishment that I value enough to be even satisfied. My consensus is that for all my ambition, my actions of time past are dwarfed by the standards that I continually set myself. Which translates to simply having not accomplished anything.

I find this surprising though, because in my youth I’ve participated and experienced things people my age can only dream of. I’ve always had opportunities so young that many would be envious of. Somehow, the big man’s been kind enough to present me with numerous opportunities to fulfill my enormous potential. I say enormous because, besides me, everyone seems to believe in me.

When I was younger, I was a rather introvert person but as I grew I became an extrovert. But because I was an introvert as a kid, I’ve always believed it’s either my way or the highway. Yep, I’ve arrogant since I was a kid! During my high school days, I developed a belief that nothing is impossible. During that period, I used to be synonymous with a sharp tongue, raging temper and a rather passionate persona. I’ve always refused to back down and have always been up for a confrontation, physical or otherwise. Irrespective of the consequences, I’d have to have my say or have it done my way. Looking back, I feel I was rather immature, selfish and outright stupid. But those days shape the person today.

In all that has been through all these years, I’ve been blessed with people who genuinely believed in me and continue to fight my corner without ever flinching. During my very early days, when I almost died from asthma, my mother believed I’ll make it. Not only did I, obviously, not die but was cured of asthma, through the sheer determination of that woman. At every turn, I’ve had people who’ve believed I could.

The only reason I wasn’t expelled from school was the fact that despite most teachers hating me, the disciplinary head and headmistress believed I’d come good though the verdict is still out. Thus they continually would find an excuse for a stay of execution. This ensured I didn’t end up sweeping roads like my mom always threatened if I didn’t study. I still didn’t and till today it’s a mystery that I didn’t flunk miserably. My dad, surprisingly, didn’t throw me out when my one year of engineering culminated in me failing miserably. He nudged me along a path of the creative arts. I must add that he was a vociferous critic of the arts, for like all good Indian families he felt the Sciences was the future. He somehow had the foresight to believe that despite having misgivings of the arts, I might actually make it in the scene. Thus, he spent his hard-earned money and set me on a path that I thoroughly enjoyed.

Then I started doing pro-bono work and this provided a wonderful avenue to learn my trade on an exponential experimental learning curve. Even here, I had the upper echelons of the organization put their reputations on the line to provide me with the freedom to work within my capabilities. They’ve always stood by me, despite my misgivings about their beliefs and my unpredictable ego. Eventually they provided me with probably the steepest learning curve I’ve ever been through via commercial work. Now the protection of the organization wasn’t there anymore but they still stood with me while risking their money by commissioning me on commercial projects. Eventually this led to graphic design, branding and culminated in video production where I single-handedly managed them all. Of course this was unheard of for someone so young and inexperienced. This was probably the beginning of my infant ability to multi-task and handle overbearing stress. I eventually won most battles, but I still lost a few but they never begrudged me. Eventually, partly due to my overbearing ego, we parted ways and I embarked on my journey into the employee world.

Here my boss, despite my rawness and naivety in both character and work, nurtured me without ever making me feel inferior. He is the closest person to a proper mentor I’ve ever had. He eventually left to pursue his career, but left me with a mindset and skills which would have taken others eons to assemble. This has nothing to do with my ability but rather with his ability to impart his monumental knowledge effectively. He, somehow, always trusted me to make the grade. Eventually my company, moved me onto bigger responsibilities in another department. Despite personally knowing that I let them down on occasions, they’ve never once allowed me to bear the brunt of criticism. They’ve always either absorbed it or refuse to bring it up. They’ve provided me a defensive shield that is almost virtually unheard of in this cut-throat industry. This is even more surprising given that they’ve never been too kind when others have failed them. The people I work with have become more like a family to me. I don’t think I’ll ever come across the fulfillment like I feel here. This comes from a man who constantly wants a change of environment or challenges.

In between these various periods, I have friends people can only dream of. I can’t emphasize this enough, I’m virtually impossible to put up with. The tantrums, mood swings, misgivings, public rebukes, stay-aways, silence, ignorance and plain ol bein an ass, I’ve done it all to every one of them. But, these people have always stood by me. Always there, irrespective of the damage I’ve caused. Through some sheer luck or odd karma, they are connected to me via a bond that’s far greater than the superficial relationships people have these days. These friends also include members of my family. Every uncle, aunty and cousin has nothing but praise for me despite my many flaws.

I’ve always said, I don’t deserve the people around me. Family, friends or colleagues, I’ve been blessed with fortune beyond the realms of mankind. Despite never ever mentioning it, I’m deeply indebted to all of them for being there. I believe there isn’t a season for loyalty. You can’t be loyal and disloyal as and when it suits you. You are either loyal or disloyal, there isn’t a grey area neither is there switching sides to suit your whims. Thus, my gratitude will always ensure, despite the circumstances, that I’ll always stand amongst you on your side immaterial of the odds.

Herein lies my greatest fear. When you have so many people rooting for you and continually believing in you, is there room for failure? Being a perfectionist, I’m usually my worst critic but far worse than letting myself down, I absolutely dread letting them down. I’ve accomplished nothing yet they feel I will succeed to the extent of resulting a paradigm shift.

Maybe where I’m getting at is that how is it possible for one man to lead such a charmed life. How can a man have the perfect parents, siblings, cousins, aunties, uncles, friends, colleagues all in one lifetime? Everybody’s looking over your shoulder for you and never really expecting anything in return! How can so many angels continually protect you when all around you the world experiences otherwise. What can one man possibly have to be so well sheltered? Of course, I know it’s a good thing, but why? I guess only time will tell…

Being abashedly confident of achieving anything and everything, might have consequences far greater than the fall of just my ego. My one outstanding quality is fearlessness. I’ve always adopted the “live by the sword, die by the sword” mantra. Over the years, I’ve become more conservative in my ambitions and less passionate of achieving them. I’m slowly losing the fire that has always raged within me. As age and laziness sets in, will my inability to fulfill my potential harm much more than just my pride. Is fear beginning to make me ordinary?

For all the talk of being extraordinary, I’m actually very average. But for an average man, I have extraordinary standards. I pick various outstanding qualities in different people and set them as personal standards for me. Of course, it’s impossible to be perfect, but you must always strive and why not strive for the very best. I’ve always been told that I set my standards too high, but to lower them would defeat the purpose because I can’t do average! For an ordinary fellow, I’m definitely over-ambitious and maybe flawed in that respect. Flawed because there isn’t a single extraordinary quality about the man to even contemplate aspiring beyond ordinary.

I’ve learnt a few things along all these years though. I’ve learnt no matter how hard you try and control destiny, you absolutely cannot win them all. You must learn to accept defeat, even if it feels like the end of the world. Sometimes, you must understand that this is the end. You cannot expect everyone in the team to fight or strive as hard as you do. Everyone has, at least, one flaw and the trick is to work around it, not point it out. No matter how right you are, people will always act within their best judgments. Most of them have poor judgment, but you must afford them time to learn. However, you must remember, not everyone has the same timeframe for a learning curve. Not everyone understands the bigger picture. Patience is of paramount importance when the path seems completely futile. Actions must always be your marching line, for words will only inspire armchair fools. Don’t ever do something because it’s easier, the harder is it the more worthwhile the result. Not every door of opportunity is your door of opportunity.

Despite the profound lessons, I’ve never ever really felt I have much to offer. Yet I’ve always claimed to have it all and continue to brag that I will achieve it all. I do honestly believe that I will be super successful because my ego wouldn’t agree otherwise. Many know the extraordinary standards I use as yardsticks, thus success can only be something beyond ordinary. But will this grand a pursuit come at a price?

Maybe this grand pursuit is why many believe I lead every chap’s dream lifestyle, maybe because of the advertising. Allow me to pour cold water on many myths that carry my name. Firstly, I’m not the player the world makes me out to be. Not the entire female population is falling head over heels for me. And women don’t find me good-looking or suavely charming. I don’t randomly sleep with women as is so very popularly advertised. I know, many men would be ecstatic to be linked with bedding countless hot women, but I’m not exactly too enthusiastic about it because they are all lies. I don’t go home because there’s some sultry woman waiting to meet me there! I’m the exact opposite of it all in fact, a lazy, rude, egoistic, arrogant, beer-bellied male chauvinistic pig! Most women can vouch for this!

Secondly, I’m not the boss at my workplace! I have to go into work in all sorts of hours as and when the job demands it. My odd work hours are due to actual work and not an office affair. I don’t have a secretary and don’t have the power to fire people! I’m an ordinary employee who has the same responsibilities as anyone else. I’m also not as talented as the world makes it out to be. I’m as good at my job as any other average Joe. There are nothing extraordinary about my creative abilities, they are very much average by international or even national standards.

Thirdly, my alcohol tolerance isn’t exactly non-existent. My housemates can vouch for this because there have been times I’ve come home and puked. What is true is the fact that, I tend to look very sober even when I’m completely wasted. And, very much contradictory to popular belief, I certainly don’t drink everyday!

There are no strengths in lies, strength only lies in the truth. People have always been given a frank point of view from me, no matter how painful. One day I might turn and be honest with you, which might either send you away or bring you closer. Alas, the risk-taker in me fears not the consequences, even if it goes all the way to bruising my ego. The man’s conscience takes precedence over his mammoth ego, it must. One day you might turn up dead, it’s better to be honest today than have a regretful soul tomorrow.

Tomorrow’s compromise...

As the parties die, the girlfriends become better conversationalists, the loans start to crop up and an actual career kicks off, you’d think you already have more than enough on your plate to handle. I mean, how could you possibly tackle sterner stuff in this fragile time of character building? So you knock off your shoes and snuggle under the blanket in your rented apartment and tell yourself that maybe this week, in spite of all your debts, you can actually afford happy hours with your friends in some fancy place in town. And then they tell you, “We think it’s high time you settled down!”. Suddenly you see the world around you crumbling to mere dust.

You haven’t even hit your thirties yet, the girls are too gorgeous to commit to one, you don’t have money left in your bank account for yourself by the middle of the month, you haven’t had enough time to travel, you haven’t visited the Playboy Mansion, you just aren’t ready for marriage. You see you life flashing before your eyes. All hope of smiling and laughing is fast evaporating. That happy-go-lucky attitude will have to be strangled to death. The dreams of shagging in Venice with some brunette on a gondola are but on a wish list that will remain unfulfilled. The very people who’re supposed to love you utter the question you’ve always dreaded. This would be a good time to contemplate suicide!

Dramatics and death of wish lists aside, it really isn’t reason to contemplate suicide if you had a partner in your life. Someone whom you’d want to love and cherish and hold for the rest of your life. Someone who’ll stand by your side through thick and thin, that special someone to exchange vows with and sail off into the sunset like all good fairy tales. Alas, what if you don’t have someone! This is the cue for your parents to play matchmaker!

Imagine this, your folks introduce you to nice girls and you eventually choose one that you like. You know, like catalogue shopping, look at the photo, dial the number and order! Then, after getting her parents’ seal of approval, you guys start dating. This is where the word “compromise” takes over. You guys start dating, notice that each of you has flaws that either of you absolutely despise, but compromise because the astrological charts spell absolute bliss! Once you start dating with your folks approval, there is no really turning back coz they’ve already set the wedding dates! Unless she’s actually an alien in a human form waiting to take over the world and your folks saw her metamorphosing out of her human form to report to Captain Zakoora!

This whole thing where they tell you that we’ll only be happy if you’re happy is more or less a myth. The fact that you agreed to go out with some chick you met over an hour of coffee in a restaurant, means they’ve managed to compromise your defences and you are about to raise the white flag soon. They figure he’ll go out with her and we’ll proceed to arrange the dates for the wedding, and he’ll shrink at the notion of hurting his parents’ feelings and eventually marry “the compromise”! They would’ve flourished as white collar criminals in Bogota!

Although we've never realised it, we’re actually getting older than we imagine ourselves to be. Our parents will always be proud of us and will invariably lend their support in all endeavours that we undertake in this lifetime. Like all humans, they have hopes and expectations. What we never realise about our parents is the fact that as we grow up, they grow up as well. When we were kids we always wanted to play as they worked hard to feed their young family. As we started hitting puberty and looked at girlie magazines, they were contemplating our future careers. Now we’re all grown up and we don’t need them anymore?

As surprising as it sounds, that’s in effect what we’re telling them, to bugger off when they start talking about marriage. We, and only we, decide whom we will spend the rest of our lives with. Whilst they have more or less lived all their lives in anticipation of seeing their children grow up to be men and women, we unassumingly cut them off probably the most important decision of our lives. And they say Brutus killed Julius Caesar…

Maybe what I’m getting at is that it isn’t their fault they want to see you flourish into life’s next hurdle, it’s ours. They figure if you get married now, you’ll have enough time to build your relationship, focus on your careers and eventually have kids. Every parent after becoming a parent dreams of having grandkids, something to do with their fascination for birth. There isn’t exactly a ripe age to get married. However, what most of us never realise is time is ticking on us as well. They are just doing what they feel is their parental responsibility. They’re just carrying out their duties.

It’s our fault because we’re still at a stage where we want the smartest, hottest chick who’s culturally blessed and will roll over every time we tell her to. Maybe its time to grow up and actually get a reality check. You don’t really have to marry some chick your parents introduce you to, you can actually look for a partner on your own. It is time that you compromised on certain things and actually try to make things work with the lot you have around you. Connect with the person who comes closest to complimenting you as a person and actually work on the relationship instead of waiting for some supermodel to fall on your lap!

It’s our fault because it never occurred to our simplistic mind that time will catch up with us as well. Well, time has caught up because they’re getting restless. The thing with all romantic stories is that they never really focus on the little compromises for relationships to work, they just focus on that morning after the great sex. With all the divorce cases keeping lawyers well-paid, lets try to avoid being a statistic. Lets not put off till tomorrow what we can do today. Who knows, it might work. If it doesn’t, well at least you can’t blame your parents for introducing you to a monster!

Heartbeats...

Why is humanity’s most powerful emotion also the most painful? The depths of despair are reality in a world where we seek partners for our souls. The quest for the other half is riddled with treachery, confrontations and heartbreaks. From making grown men cry to popping pills to end it all, love seems to be at the forefront of the threshold of pitting man against man. We play funny games.

Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Girl’s interested in boy, but due to social stigma, she waits for boy to make his move. Boy contemplates if he should go ahead, make a fool of himself and woo girl. Boy decides foolishness is a small price to pay for girl. Boy sets about on pulling all stops to woo girl. Boy looks like a complete idiot in the process. Girl resists until she knows he’s running out of ideas. Girl finally caves in. Boy and girl are in love. And they lived happily ever after. The End. Well, that’s what the movies will tell you anyway.

Ever after isn’t really happily ever after. In the real world, everything significant happens after they fall in love. The fairytales are fairytales because they don’t dwell in the reality of falling in love. They entrench themselves only in the notion of falling in love. They embrace the concept of finding that perfect partner but never in the reality that that beautiful woman is also human. Like a good man once said, “It’s only human to err”. In matters of the heart, man tends to err more often than not.

Love is like the bliss of sunshine yet it entails the emotional whirlwinds that only hurricanes bring. Like all extremes of nature, they leave a trail of things broken, damaged or expired. Fortunately, like in the aftermath of all extremes of nature, there’s rebuilding and the renewal of hope. Only in keeping the faith do you do justice to both yourself and your partner. Notice they always say “fall in love” not “climb in love”.

Logic will never be able to sensibly give you an explanation as to why people become irrational when they’re in love. Neither reason nor sensibility will ever justify a man’s actions when he’s in love. The saving grace however, is that you’re allowed to be an emotionally charged idiot when it comes to matters of the heart. Using love as an excuse seems to get you off the hook more often than not. We’re all suckers for romance.

How come is it we always say we’d die for the people we love but continue to hurt them with our words and actions? How is it all right to sweep a woman off her feet and then leave her to wilt in emotional baggage when another gorgeous woman walks into our lives? How is it okay to consistently doubt her loyalty when you’re sleeping with half the female population? How is it fine to love someone but pretend to walk away because courage fails you? How is it right to continually live in denial? How is it right to laugh when you’re crying inside?

You want to know why we constantly fail to find the right person. It’s because we’re looking for the wrong person! We seem to be looking for someone to sleep with, someone who’s the first one through the door, someone who’ll compliment our social status, someone who won’t question us, someone who’ll pretend to care when we’re down on our chips or someone who just says you’re beautiful. When all that we should be looking for is someone who keeps us happy! That’s it, just plain happy! All we need to do is find someone who complements us, completes us.

Unfortunately, for the goons who’re stuck in the current generation, we look for someone who’s going to keep us happy today and not tomorrow. But, dear god, how would you know that unless you start dating her, get into her pants, make her cook for you and clean your room? This is the part where you take a swipe on your head with a frying pan. You don’t need to do all that, all you need to do is use your damn head! The one that isn’t stuck in your pants, that is. The problem isn’t your little brother or your excess of hormones, it’s the fact that you can’t think two steps ahead. Her breasts aren’t really reason enough to drop singlehood.

Let’s face it, the objective is to have a long and healthy relationship that eventually ends up in the ultimate commitment of marriage. To have a long and healthy relationship, you always need to look into the baggage your partner brings into your life. It isn’t as easy as “I like, I buy”! Baggage is anything that they bring into the relationship that affects you psychologically and how you deal with it. The behavioral traits, her friendship with the cheating ex-boyfriend, her alcoholic father, her religious beliefs, her love for flashy cars or even her dislike of your sloppy dressing. They are all baggage! If you know you can handle all her baggage, you’re good to take the plunge. This goes without saying, she’s got to be comfortable handling your baggage as well. Otherwise, it’s a wee bit of a one way street to a disaster. Unless you’ve got a fetish for heartbreak and alcoholism.

Relationships are all about growing up together. They aren’t about changing either of you or the fights or even the sex. Relationships will only work if you constantly work towards understanding each other. Two people don’t always have to agree, they can even pull each others’ hairs out. All that matters is that if at the end of it all, you still want to spend your life holding her when she’s annoying or kissing her when she’s embarrassing! When you have that, you really should stop looking and start consolidating.

Patience isn’t in great supply in modern day relationships. Maybe that’s why we fall out of love so easily and the ever-escalating divorce rates certainly seem to concur. Maybe that’s why we jump into a relationship with every hot chick that comes into our lives. There isn’t a pause button to contemplate, there’s just play and replay! If you’re fighting now, then you’re definitely going to be at each others’ throats when you’re married. The yardstick should always be how you deal with each other in the aftermath of these fights while you’re still unwed. If you aren’t climbing on each other or continually having make-up sex, you’ll be fine. However if you are, dump the denial routine and break-up for the sake of your sanity at least.

Mostly falling in love is painful. Sometimes courage isn’t as abundant as it seemed to be. Sometimes it’s too difficult to forgive and forget. Sometimes, she’s standing right in front of you and you’ll never realize it till it’s too late. Sometimes she’s so near yet so far. Sometimes we forget, why we fell in love in the first place. Sometimes all we’re doing is just crying and not actually working towards fixing our relationships. Sometimes we just lack the strength to fix it. Sometimes love just ain’t enough.

Nobody ever said it was going to be easy. Courage and hope are strong advocates to have when you are in love. They say love gives you wings to fly. To fly, you need courage to take those baby steps. Its okay to cry or fall flat on your face in the name of love, at least it proves you have the courage to live life. Not everyone has the courage to come out of his or her rut and actually fall in love. But as they always say, never say never…